Friday, March 21, 2008

Walking under the rain

The phone went dead. I sat there as if a bombshell just hit me. I could not bring myself to believe that it just ended that way but the other part of me was glad it finally over. I could care less ; yet I could not explain why my tears flowing so uncontrollably?

The night seemed eternal. I could not close my eyes no matter how hard I tried.Even if i could, pieces of my shattered memories kept returning to haunt me. I got out of bed and walk to my window stilt. The city which was brightly illuminated a few moments ago was now nothing but black and bleak save for a few street lamp and pub that dotted the horizon.

The cold night wind blew through my opened window. The wind which would usually send shivers down my spine felt nothing. Nothing at all. I caught scent of the oncoming downpour hidden skillfully among the cold night wind. I wonder if the wind saturated with moisture of the oncoming rain is as damp as what I was feeling.

The howling of the dogs seems to be singing to the melancholic tune of my heart. I could not believe that my tears are forming again in my eyes, yet because of it I am sure that beneath this skin lies the feeling of a normal human being. It's had been so long, so very long since I last felt this heart torn.

Today was exactly two months since I found out that she had been unfaithful to me. But love had blinded and bounded me so that I made reason after reason just to make myself believe that love still exist between us somewhere somehow. Just a few moments ago, my made believed reasons were completely shattered and our memories together are nothing but the distant past.
The song "The First Cut is the Deepest" my neighbour was listening to flooded my entire room. I felt that I could not hold in the pain anymore.

I opened the door and went out of my room. The poshly decorated apartment corridor was completely deserted and only illuminated by the dim light bulbs by the elevator.The elevator came, I went in and press the lobby button. The unchanging elevator music just only made my mood seemed heavier.

I walked out of the lift and and onto the street. Small drops of rain began to fall as I stepped outside. Slowly the rain became heavier and heavier and heavier; along with the rain, my tears also began to fall uncontrollably.

rain down on me
and wash away all my
tears, sorrow and my memories of you.


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